I’ve been a mom for a little over three months now. I’m still nowhere near an expert, but I’ve learned some pretty useful stuff. As the first mother of my little group of friends and a sentimental sap I felt I needed to record these things. Maybe I’ll start monthly posts of things I learn along the way.

1) Babies will randomly screech at some point or another. You will panic thinking they must be in some kind of pain. They’ll giggle and do it again. Babies also love to fake cough. Anything that will get your attention or cause a mini heart attack is fun times for them.

2) The unasked for advice never ends. People will especially be concerned if like me you choose to attachment parent. You will feel insecure in yourself at times and even consider taking their advice even if it makes you uncomfortable then while you’re breastfeeding or co sleeping your baby will look up at you and smile. You’ll know you’re already doing what’s right for both of you.

3) Babies really don’t care about Christmas. Seriously look at that face. She gives no fucks that she just met Santa Claus. The only aspect of Christmas she enjoys so far is the Christmas tree and it’s lights. She’s just as happy staring at my kindle or monitor while I read. There’s no need to go super crazy with the presents. Babies just don’t care. They won’t for a couple more years at least. Save your money.


4) When people say babies get bored easily they mean it. The first thing I do when Beatrice starts crying is change her position. She doesn’t get she’s a little baby she wants to stand or sit up and she will yell at you until you help her do so.

5)Anytime you’re among other moms your child will choose that precise moment to be upset for no reason. I was in the doctor’s office with four or five other moms with babies all of us were there for shots. All the other babies were sleeping or playing quietly. Beatrice was inconsolable. Other parents kept asking if she had colic or if she was sick. Nope. It turned out she just wanted to be naked, but seeing as it’s winter in Indiana I couldn’t exactly strip her down before we got into the doctor’s office.

6) Working at Kohls when you have a child is hard. You want to buy everything even when you remind yourself that you have two boxes of clothes in sizes up to 2t at home and your baby doesn’t even play with most of her toys. (She likes her owl ball, a random piece of tulle from a diaper cake, and my face way more than anything else). When those friends and family events come up it doesn’t matter that she really doesn’t need a Frozen toddler couch it’s ten bucks and she’ll use it one day right? So much for saving my money.

7) Once you have one it’s very likely your world will revolve around baby stuff. You’ll always be talking about or looking up things pertaining to raising children and not turning them into a serial killer. It will come to the point where your partner will look at you when you say for the forth time that day how great it is the baby can roll over or blow raspberries and tell you “You’re obsessed.”