I’m now a mostly stay at home mom and I don’t totally hate it. Despite the fact growing up I always wanted to be a bad ass working mom since actually becoming a mother I’ve wanted nothing more than to be home with my baby. Finances have been in the way they still are actually which is why I’ll still be working Fridays and Saturdays and will hopefully be making some money writing and selling the things Beatrice has grown out of.

This wasn’t really the plan I had in mind when I thought I wanted to stay home, but I had another seizure a couple weeks ago and I haven’t been the same since. Maybe it’s the medication increase and being put back on keppra or maybe it was the seizure regardless something has shifted inside of me. I don’t have the energy I did to keep up with Beatrice and work and my relationship and my house. It’s hard for women in the best of health to do that. Not to mention I seriously messed up my back somehow during the seizure so I can’t stand up straight or bend or turn or sleep comfortably any more. Every time I move my back hurts worse than anything I’ve ever experienced and I’ve been hit by an eighteen wheeler before so that’s kind of amazing. I know I should see a doctor and I will at some point when I can find one in Indiana who can actually help me and isn’t a complete moron.

It’s getting better though since I’ve stayed home I’ve had more time with my little one and to help around the house we moved everything around since we won’t be moving any time soon and by we I actually mean Brandon because yeah that wouldn’t be helping my back much.

Today is Valentines day. Brandon and I don’t really have plans. We’re just staying home and eating doughnuts to save money because Valentines day is super expensive. I’m going to do some craft stuff with Beatrice she probably won’t care about it much since she’s only five months, but it’ll be something to remember her first Valentines day by. I’ll post pictures of that and her cute Valentines day outfit on instagram I’m sure if anyone’s interested in seeing either.

Here’s to better things coming and hopefully more writing.